There are several straightforward techniques that can help calm nearly any cat in various situations.
It doesn’t matter their breed or if they tend to be aggressive—these tips are effective.
Regardless of the reason, building trust with your cat is essential. The methods and advice I outline below will communicate to your cat that you pose no threat.
By demonstrating that you mean no harm, your cat should start to relax, and you should see immediate results.
How To Calm A Cat
It’s actually quite simple. Just behave towards an aggressive cat as another cat would if it wanted to avoid seeming threatening.
We’re essentially applying natural cat behavior here. The initial two steps we discuss are collectively known as the “SLOBLY” technique, which stands for Slow Blink and Yawn.
1) Blink Slowly Towards a Cat
If there’s one thing to remember from this post, it’s this technique. It’s surprising how many cat lovers I know who haven’t heard of it!
This technique is particularly effective and crucial for bonding with your cat.
Watch closely: when you look at your cat, you may notice it blinking slowly and then possibly looking away. This is your cat signaling that it doesn’t see you as a threat. If you have a cat, try it now.
Here’s what you need to do:
When a nervous cat looks at you, it’s trying to assess whether you’re a threat.
If it has any uncertainty, it may perceive you as a threat. Your goal is to convince the cat otherwise. So, when your cat stares at you, follow these steps:
Slowly close your eyes while facing the cat, keeping them closed for about 2 seconds.
Open your eyes just as slowly as you closed them.
Wait a couple of seconds, then shift your focus to something else, all done with slow, deliberate movements.
Repeat these steps every time your cat looks at you, ensuring everything is done calmly and gradually.
As mentioned earlier, if you only remember one thing from this article, or if you’re short on time, remember this:
I’ve been using this technique with my own cats for years, as well as with other cats. When you try it, you can practically see them becoming less stressed and anxious right before your eyes!
2) Yawning When Looking At Your Cat
When facing off with another cat, an aggressive feline won’t yawn. By yawning in front of your own cat (you might even find yourself yawning right now just thinking about it), you’re showing that you pose no threat.
3) Don’t Stare – Occasionally Look Away
Avoid staring at a stressed or anxious cat. This ties in well with the previous point. Look at the cat, yes, but avoid prolonged staring.
If the cat is looking at you, it’s okay to look back, but remember to occasionally glance away. Keep all movements controlled and deliberate, avoiding any sudden actions.
This behavior demonstrates to your cat that your focus isn’t solely on it. You’re showing that you have no intention of threatening or bothering it.
4) Roll Onto Your Back
When a cat rolls onto its back, it may appear inviting, but it’s not an invitation to tickle! This behavior can be deceiving.
Take a look at our cat Harry in the next photo.
Just look at him! With his little paws tucked in, it might seem like an open invitation for a playful tickle. But don’t be fooled!
If you fall for their trap (which I bet you already have), their paws will grab your hands in a split second, leaving you with some scratches!
In reality, when a cat rolls onto its back like this, it’s actually showing submissive behavior. They often do this as a sign of trust when you approach, indicating they don’t see you as a threat.
So, what does this have to do with calming them down? Well, you wouldn’t typically see this behavior in a cat that’s anxious or stressed. Instead, you can mimic their behavior!
Find a spot relatively near your cat (where they can see you, of course) and slowly roll onto your back, mimicking Harry in the picture above.
Yes, it might feel a bit silly, but you’re demonstrating that you pose no threat to them. This technique really works, so if you can get past feeling self-conscious, give it a try!
5) Let Them Come To You
Avoid trying to force interaction with a cat. Give them space and avoid crowding them, as repeated approaches can make them feel intimidated.
Especially if a cat is very anxious initially, allow them to make the first move. Get down to their level, implement the strategies mentioned earlier, and avoid giving them too much attention. The goal is for them to gradually become more comfortable with your presence over time.
Simply sit on the floor and mind your own business for a while. Then, after some time, resume your activities without focusing on them. Repeat this approach, and eventually, they’ll grow more relaxed around you.
This approach helps them to no longer associate you with any threat, as they become more accustomed to your presence.
6) Don’t Follow Them
If a cat doesn’t want to do something, don’t try to force them. Avoid picking them up and relocating them if it seems they don’t want to be there.
During playtime, if a cat wanders off, don’t pursue them. Their desire to leave signifies a need or preference.
If a cat seeks a more secure location for any reason, they should feel confident in being able to do so independently.
Remember, while a cat is free to follow you (especially true with Maine Coons), the reverse is not true. Cats set the rules in this regard.
7) Remain Calm
Cats can be easily startled, and while some are more nervous than others, they generally feel uneasy around people who make a lot of noise. This is why they often aren’t comfortable with children. Cats dislike unpredictable movements and loud noises, which are characteristics that children often exhibit.
When around a nervous cat, it’s essential to stay calm—avoid sudden movements and keep noise levels low. This underscores the importance of teaching children how to interact calmly and respectfully with cats.
Educate your children about your cat’s feelings and needs, and teach them how to behave appropriately around them. Children may forget or disregard your instructions and continue to run around, but with time, they should understand the importance of respecting the cat’s boundaries.
While it may not be effortless or always successful, emphasizing these points to your kids, especially when dealing with a nervous cat, can greatly benefit their understanding and relationship with the cat.
8) Bribe Them With Treats
I’m not suggesting you bribe your kids 🙂 Although, sometimes that does work! What I mean is, you can occasionally strengthen the bond between you and your cat by offering a small incentive.
Keep some treats handy. If you’re sitting nearby and your nervous cat doesn’t seem eager to approach, try tempting them with treats. Place some on the floor near them and, if they appear interested and willing, encourage them to take one from your hand.
9) Give Them Somewhere To Go
10) Use Diffusers
A cat’s sense of security often hinges on the scents it encounters in its environment. Unfamiliar scents, especially those of other animals, can hinder a cat’s ability to settle in comfortably.
There are several pheromone diffusers available that aim to replicate a cat’s own scent, helping them feel more at ease in their surroundings.
While I’ve had varied results with this method, many people have reported positive outcomes, prompting me to include it here. The pheromones emitted by these diffusers can promote a sense of calm and relaxation in your cat.
This can be particularly beneficial in environments where other animals have been present, or when introducing a new kitten or cat into your home for the first time.
Conclusion
I’ve had cats in my life for about 40 years, with 25 of those years spent with magnificent Maine Coons. Our latest Maine Coon responded positively to these techniques when she joined us at 16 months old.
There are many reasons why a cat may feel anxious, often related to changes in their environment or their past experiences. Moving homes, rearranging their living space (cats aren’t fond of change), or the presence of other animals leaving their scent can all contribute to a cat’s discomfort.
Alternatively, it could simply be a matter of temperament. Some cats may be more naturally aggressive, possibly due to inadequate handling or socialization as kittens, or they may be nervous rescue cats with unclear histories. Determining the exact cause can sometimes be challenging.
These tips truly are effective—I can attest to that, having used them for most of my life! I have a deep love for cats and have always found joy in unraveling more about their behavior.
Understanding why some cats are more nervous than others fascinates me. I relish the process of gaining a cat’s trust when they initially hesitate, gradually witnessing positive changes over time.
While any of the tips mentioned can make a difference, I often combine several techniques simultaneously. For example, I might start with slow blinking, follow it with a big yawn, then briefly look away before repeating the sequence.
Here are some of my favorite products for cats
Thank you for taking the time to read this article. I hope you found it helpful whether you own a cat or are considering it. I thought I’d share a few of the cat products I love which you might find really useful too.
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